We Discontent Ourselves

We Discontent Ourselves
10/12/2015

We sow the seeds of our discontent
Because life is what we make it.
When you suffer, when you get hurt
When you fall into that bottomless pit
It can be hard to claw your way back up
And continue on after that perilous fall,
Being blinded by the blackest night
Is a feeling that happens to all
That may have the unfortunate fate
To be pulled into such terrible trauma.
You may feel broken and warped
Like your insides are being gnawed on by piranhas.
Though that feeling is hard to get past
And it may feel like you'll never be well,
If you stew in the hate, and wallow in pain
And you never breach that veil
Of horrible agony, you will never be happy.
You'll find yourself suffering through hell
But really, the truth of the matter you need to admit,
The truth that after much pain I choose to tell
Is that you put yourself there, because life is what you make it
And the sooner you realize that you need to get past
The built up feelings that bring you down
The less time the hurt will last.
I am in no way saying it will be easy
Or that it won't take a great deal of time,
But the longer you wallow, the longer it takes
And that is the cruelest of crimes
That you can commit against yourself, and your life.
You must work past the pain to once again be joyous,
Letting yourself move on with your journey
And no longer feeling helpless,
Moving past the pain will bring you light
Making it possible to reconnect
With the world around you and those you love
And though there really is no correct
Way to get past it all, if you only wallow in pain
And misery, what is there left of a life
For you to live, what is the point
When you only succumb to the strife?
Now this may sound like a good reason
To die and let yourself wither away,
But that's not the case, and it can't erase
The hearts that you may have swayed.
There are people you hurt in your own pain
And even if there aren't any people left
You are pushing away the life you could have
And making yourself depressed.
You are perpetuating the pain they gave you
And making yourself stay estranged
From the world around you with so much that's new
And I'm begging you to try and change,
To change in a way that's better
So that the souls of black don't win.
It will be hard but it can get better
So don't wallow in pity, and hurt those around
You who had nothing to do with it
Don't wrestle their hopes to the ground.
Then you are as bad as those who hurt you
And you perpetuate the cycle
Of abuse and hate, the pain, the ache,
The truth of this is vital.
So for yourself and those around you
Move past the horrible pain
Because you can change, and for the better
And the truth cannot be contained.

Anger

Anger

4/26/2015

Anger is a pain, deep in my chest

It throbs, it pulses, it will never rest

A red haze descends and constricts my sight

Until everything seems bad and I just want to fight

Or run away, and seethe, quietly alone

And any confrontation I try to postpone

Until it boils up and I can’t hold it in

My stomach feels nauseous, I feel too big for my skin

And my head feels like it will pop

And I’m not sure I can stop

The tirade of words that wish to spill out

Though I wish I could do without

The haze on my thoughts, so I can think clearly

As anger covers all and I nearly

Do something I don’t want to do

But I try to take a deep breath and break through

The fury seething like a volcano

And my whirling emotions like a tornado

So I can calmly face the problem at hand

So the cause of my anger they can all understand

And we can fix the problem that created this emotion

And we can stop this ceaseless constant erosion

At the walls of the dam that keeps in my voice

And hopefully now I can have the choice

To notice that anger, that seething hate

That causes me to groan and be irate

And instead we can talk and solve the problem

And if we get lucky we can get down to the bottom

Of the anger and there will be a solution

And we can come to a calm and quiet resolution. 

Disappear with the Gust

This is another one that I wrote along time ago and recently rewrote so I'm going to put both versions up for you to read.

Disappear With the Gust

Date Unknown

It pushes through me,

It rushes on and on,

Makes me feel altogether,

Like your weakest pawn.

Everyone knows me,

Through your eyes,

You don’t care

If it burns my mind.

You push me forward,

It gives me pain and anger.

Someone tells me

Later you’ll thank her.

I don’t care what you say

I won’t be very thankful.

I know you better than you know

So I know that you are hateful.

Just leave me lying here,

Lying I the dust,

Someday you’ll regret it,

When I disappear with the gust.

Disappear With the Gust

10/2/2014

It pulses through me,

It rushes on and on,

Defeat envelopes me

Until I’m your weakest pawn.

The image of me that’s seen is murky

As they peer at me through your eyes,

You chuckle darkly and morosely

As I tread water and scream to the skies.

You push randomly on my buttons

Bringing forth red pain and flashing anger.

I can’t seem to remember who I am

As I cast out to sea but lose my anchor.

I slip and slide on dangerous ground

And for that, to you I’m thankful.

But I can see through you’re constructed lies,

I can see your soul is dark and resentful.

You do what you can to drown others,

You bring forth the blackest part of our souls.

I won’t put up with this treatment

And I won’t follow your scripted roles.

I know one day you’ll just leave me lying here,

Lying broken and bleeding in the dust,

So while I still have the option

I’ll abandon my post and disappear with the gust.