Quiet - Silent

 

Quiet - Silent

6/17/2025

 

I grew up in a house, that was as quiet as a crypt,

And me just like a page so blank and nondescript,

While I’d tiptoe around on eggshells, and mutely there I’d sit.

Never was there a loud sound, no words spoken harsh and clipped.

We just stayed quiet – silent, as my parents were not equipped

To hand out praise and love, unable to stick to the script,

We just stuck to the silence, hoping it would never get tipped

Past the point of mere negligence to the script getting flipped

Becoming abusive. So instead along we just skipped

Holding on to the oppressive silence, mouths not to be unzipped.

Broken China Doll

 

Broken China Doll

6/17/2025

 

What do you ask a broken China doll

When it falls down on the ground?

It’s just one more - crack - that you can’t take back

Though it may not even make a sound.

With each new fall - with each new – chip,

The – pain – just keeps on growing,

But the painted smile just stays in place,

To hide what you have no way of knowing.

So no one can see that constant – pain,

All those – cracks - that are hidden well,

Though every day the – aches – don’t fade,

It’s a secret he’ll never tell.

 

Because no one can see it, no one will notice

They all assume he’s doing fine,

But the – cracks - are growing although they’re not showing

And one day he’ll shatter –

to this fate he is resigned.

Price of Blood

 

Price of Blood

6/17/2025
 
“Blood is thicker than water,”
Ancient words in a dusty tome,
But does it still stand when they keep on taking
Leaving you drier than a desert bone?
It doesn’t matter if the taking is physical
Like money, or blood, or land,
Or if it’s something mental,
A pain even harder to withstand.
It’s not worth staying in that place
Even with the price of blood,
You deserve to flourish and be at peace,
So you can shine just like the sun.

Every Day - The End

 

Every Day – The End

2/17/25 

Every day I’m walking on the edge
Looking at the news, wondering what’s next,
As we spiral, the leaders preach and condescend.
 
Every day we’re closer and closer to the end
Of who stays here, and who gets left,
In the nazi nation that’s made its way to what we defend.
 
The thorns have covered everything, starting to extend
Over the things we love, with the same pretext
As we spiral down, the leaders preach and condescend.
 
I’m telling you there’s no need to pretend,
We can all see without contest
That the nazi nation has made its way to what we defend.
 
So now we must watch as it all descends
An America breaks, and I mean to offend
As we spiral down, the leaders preach and condescend
In the nazi nations that’s made its way to what we defend.

Soren

 

Soren
1/30/2025
 
I push off the weight of my ancestors who only hold me down.
I toss away the expectations that sway me while I drown.
I scream, “What are the answers to the questions I ask the most?
And why do I flee this knowledge that follows me like a ghost?”
“Who am I?” on my knees I cry, my fists raised to the sky,
“And when did I get so lost? Please just tell me why?
Why must I carry this burden, the sense that I don’t belong?
How did I lose myself and how could it go so wrong?”
But no answers am I given, and this I cannot take,
It is time to find the truth myself because truth will no longer wait.
 
So, I cast off this mantle you forced on me, this guise I was made to hold,
To toss away this unfair burden forcing me into this mold.
It is time to find the self I hid, the me I left behind,
The person who I really am is to no longer be denied.
“This is me!” I scream it out to you, “I care not if you agree,
The person I am I need to find, so this I do decree,
Accept it or not! I care not which. But if you want me ‘round
You must respect the new me, for ‘myself’ is no longer bound
By the expectations of ancestors long buried in the ground,
Because the ones who care the most will stay, of this I’ve found.”
 
This is the new me,
The person I’ll be,
Though inside the same,
I scream my new name,
It is time for me to break free.
                                                            “Soren!”

Eulogy to Atticus - Better Late Then Never

 

Eulogy to Atticus – Better Late Then Never

1/7/25

I don’t know why your death snuck up on me,
like a stab wound to the back,
It’s been so long since you’ve been gone
But still, I feel your lack.
An empty hole where once you were,
That nothing I have can fill,
I miss you so, why did you go?
My heart bleeds for you still.
Others say that I should move on
And I truly thought I had,
But time to time our sharp goodbye
Comes spinning round my head.
It’s a time like that these words do flow
So, here’s my eulogy to you.
Better late than never, my dear friend
I miss you so bad. I do.
I never wanted to say goodbye,
T’was a task hard to comprehend,
The tears fell hard as my heart broke
As it was time to give you your end.
I held you tight, I didn’t let go
Until the light had left your eyes,
I had to turn and leave you
Though you couldn’t hear my cries.
You held onto a piece of my heart,
A piece I can’t take back,
I leave it here an ode to you,
My tear-stained panic attack.
You always had a special thing,
A way to make me smile,
No matter what, you’d help me laugh,
Even if only for a while.
Your constant warmth and soft sweet touch
Kept the darkest demons away,
You were a constant column of support
That kept my depression at bay.
With you, you took all of my light
The joy that I needed most,
It took some time, but I’m alright,
Though I still push off your ghost.
It’ll haunt me forever, until my death,
And it’ll hurt, and I may cry,
I miss you so, but you had to go,
You were sick, a death we couldn’t deny.
But it’s time to step away
Though all your memories I hold dear,
I miss you so, I know you had to go,
Sometimes I still feel you near.
So, I’ll say goodbye just one more time
As your memory I hold close,
I miss you so and I won’t let go,
Your memory is there when I need it most.

In Memory: Atticus Douglas 4/16/2023

Caught in the Web

 

Caught in the Web

12/24/24

 

Depression is like a big black spider hovering out of sight above
Weaving a web to snatch up all the things, like joy, and peace, and love.
The web wraps itself all around you, restricting you more and more
Until you have no will to fight, and everything becomes a chore.
 
Depression is like a spider, drinking up all of your years,
Until you find, and you don’t know why, you can’t shed anymore tears.
And the longer it takes to realize this fate, the harder it is to unwind,
Because you’re wrapped up in the web with no will left for you to find.
 
Anxiety is like cobwebs, scattered all around the room,
Strung along from here to there as neatly as a loom,
And before you even know it, you’ve been caught up in the web
With a lethal dose of anxiety that leaves you hiding in your bed.
 
Anxiety is just like a cobweb, and you never know just when
The spider left, will it come back, and exactly where has it been?
Is it hiding in the closet? Under the bed or in my clothes?
Or maybe in the library, hiding among books that fill rows and rows.
 
Anxiety sneaks up on you and suddenly it’s there,
Depression lingers long and hard, coming often as a pair.