Caught in the Web

 

Caught in the Web

12/24/24

 

Depression is like a big black spider hovering out of sight above
Weaving a web to snatch up all the things, like joy, and peace, and love.
The web wraps itself all around you, restricting you more and more
Until you have no will to fight, and everything becomes a chore.
 
Depression is like a spider, drinking up all of your years,
Until you find, and you don’t know why, you can’t shed anymore tears.
And the longer it takes to realize this fate, the harder it is to unwind,
Because you’re wrapped up in the web with no will left for you to find.
 
Anxiety is like cobwebs, scattered all around the room,
Strung along from here to there as neatly as a loom,
And before you even know it, you’ve been caught up in the web
With a lethal dose of anxiety that leaves you hiding in your bed.
 
Anxiety is just like a cobweb, and you never know just when
The spider left, will it come back, and exactly where has it been?
Is it hiding in the closet? Under the bed or in my clothes?
Or maybe in the library, hiding among books that fill rows and rows.
 
Anxiety sneaks up on you and suddenly it’s there,
Depression lingers long and hard, coming often as a pair.

Spiderwebs

 Spiderwebs

9/10/2020

 

Inside my head are spiderwebs

Covered in hideous spiders.

Behind them they hide what’s in my mind

These webs, they act as dividers.

When anxiety spikes, I cannot think,

Fighting the spiders in my head,

With no weapons, no skills, no way to win,

But if the spider doesn’t end up dead

I can’t clear away the spiderweb

And reach what lies behind

I can’t breathe, I can’t see, my mind I can’t reach

In the threads I become entwined.

Everyday has become a struggle

To clear away the threads

Because if I don’t stop, or I give up,

I’ll get tangled in the webs.

Heave and Breathe and try not to Scream

Heave and Breathe and try not to Scream

3/27/2015

So many things to be stressed about

Where do I even start—

Work

School—

It’s all falling apart.

Crumbling into pieces,

Disappearing into dust—

A bulldozer ran it over

But I know that I must

I must go on and face the danger

Face the anger

And all the pain I feel

I know that I must be stronger and pull apart the fear

About a future so uncertain

That’s crumbled into the sea

A mighty tsunami rolled me over

Without remorse at my daunting plea.

I try to breathe in any air

But all I get is water,

Water that fills up my lungs

An event that does not augur

Well for how I’m handling

The storm that’s headed my way

So I heave

And breathe

And try not to scream

As I face each and every day.

Where will this long road lead me?

What hope do I even have

Of making  it down the river

And finding my footing on dry land?

In a future so uncertain

I can only hope that all goes well

And work as hard as possible

To make it out of this trek through hell

In a fire so unbearable

I can’t see a single thing

Everything around  me is shimmering

And I can’t take the unforgiving sting

Of flames licking across my chest

And burning down my face

So I heave

And breathe

And try not to scream

As I try to make all haste

Only to come across another obstacle

It seems everything stands in my way

What do I do? What do I do?

This pain just won’t go away.

Yet the tears refuse to fall

And I can’t seem to let myself heal

As the emotions get ever stronger

My head is starting to reel.

I can’t breathe

I can’t scream

I can’t even feel anything real,

When will it end

When will I bend

Because I don’t have a back of steel.

It hurts

It hurts

I can’t stop the burn

I can only go so far

Until I reach a dead end

And I must defend

The life that I hold so dear.

My only option is to continue

And push as hard as I can

To pierce the dead end

And maybe mend

But I watch the whole plan

That was my future start to

Fall

To crawl

Away and into the dark.

I must continue

I must press on

Until I reach the end

No matter how far

So I force the air

Through my chest

And heave

And breathe

And try not to scream.

Make the Madness Disappear

Make the Madness Disappear

2/27/2015

I’d give anything to make the madness disappear

And stop the spinning in my head

But all I can do is grit my teeth and persevere.

My worries whirl and with my sleep they interfere

As I lay staring at the ceiling above my bed

I’d give anything to make the madness disappear.

The panic hits me in the chest like a spear

And I can’t breathe through the insistent dread

And all I can do is grit my teeth and persevere.

But through my pounding heart I cannot hear

Anything else that ever is said

And I’d give anything to make the madness disappear.

My wayward breath is a cruel mutineer,

My chest hurts so much; I think I may be dead

But all I can do is grit my teeth and persevere.

Through the panic and worry, I can’t stop the tears

I have no choice but to let it consume me instead

And I’d give anything to make the madness disappear

But all I can do is grit my teeth and persevere.