The Wall

The Wall

12/24/2016

We surround ourselves with sturdy walls

Built tough to keep us safe,

To block out the harshest words,

The anger, the pain, the hate.

The things we do not wish to face

Stay outside our thick stone walls,

But there’s something we can’t see

That even if it’s oh so small

The words that hurt begin to chip

And dig the wall away,

Creating holes that show our souls—

The pain we can’t keep at bay.

Those words are like a little rock

That chip away the stone,

And words do hurt, just like stones and sticks

They just might break the bone.

That little stone digs at the wall

And though it takes some time,

A misplaced word that starts to hurt

Causes our souls to intertwine,

And breaks away the sturdy wall

Making the hole grow ever deeper

Until eventually the words break through

And like the nefarious reaper

Those words cut at us, inflicting wounds

Whether they were meant to hurt or not—

Those holes don’t close, they show our souls

And expose ourselves to rot.

Most often many create the holes

But sometimes it’s only one

That says the things that hurt us most

And chase away the sun.

Every wall has chips and cracks

That we try to fill with putty,

But it’s never as strong as the original

Thus leaving our walls less sturdy.

So careful with the words you say

No matter what you think,

Because you’ll find a crack left in the stone

And make the hole ever deeper. 

Mask

Mask
2/25/2016

What kind of Mask - do you put on?
What kind of Mask - have I?
And is it a Mask an observer
Could easily push aside?

It is -- you say? How charming.
Do you -- Honestly -- believe that's so?
I find your argument - lacking --
Because of the things I know.

My Mask is - one of Smiles -
It doesn't often crumble away.
I often push aside my Hurt,
This Mask I wear everyday.

The casual observer won't notice,
Or even - Care - to look.
And even the ones' I Love the most --
My pain most overlook.

So don't tell me your mask is obvious,
Stop -- Lying -- to yourself --
Because it hurts and hurts and nothing works --
And it further wounds your soul -

Words Hurt

Words Hurt

10/7/2014

Words hurt.

You can try to deny it but if I told you how

Ugly

And worthless you are

It would hurt.

More so if you care about me and my opinions.

If I am a peer,

A coworker,

A friend,

A daughter,

A lover,

My words could do catastrophic damage.

I could tear out your soul and crush it in my fist.

You’d claim you’re okay, that “sticks and stones, man.”

But inside you’re still bleeding.

Denying it doesn’t change a thing.

Doesn’t change the fact that words

Are like spider webs.

They stick to the corners and won’t go away

Because every time you clear them

The spider comes back and rebuilds.

The web is still there.

The threads interweave through the recesses of your mind and the first time I say something harsh and cruel

It sticks

And it stays,

And it reverberates through your mind.

Each time you clear it, it may move back, further in your mine, but that doesn’t change the fact that

It’s

Still

There.

Waiting for you to remember and hurt all over again.

Physical wounds hurt

But with time they fade

And you forget.

I have scars that I don’t remember where they came from.

But when my heart hurts, it hurts for a long time.

For years

Decades

My whole life.

Going to college and being an English major,

A writer,

A poet,

I know the value of picking the right words and which emotions they invoke.

Words have power.

Words have strength.

You can deny it all you want

But it

Changes

Nothing.

Words still hurt

And you cry inside like a child who knows just what words can really do.

Bullies take advantage of this deception.

You try so hard to pretend like it doesn’t hurt

Until it’s too late

And the pain in so vast that even the ocean can’t hold it

And you drown.

You sink to the very bottom of the abyss struggling for a breath of air and all you can hear are those horrid

words ringing in your ears until

Anger

Rage

Violence

Depression

Suicide.

Locked into an ever declining spiral because you couldn’t tell the effect someone else’s words had on you.

Your own ignorance distanced you and now

You can’t find a way back.

But

Words can also heal.

When someone reaches out and pulls you out of the ocean of your own emotions,

When they drag you back to the light of day and say

            “You aren’t ugly,

            You aren’t worthless.

            You are beautiful

            And you are smart.”

You can come back from that abyss and find your way home.

Words hurt,

But words can also heal.

Words are important.

Don’t forget that.