Sunday, November 16, 2014

Food Service Epic: Catalog


 “Sandwich – what kind of bread? A white hoagie?
What would you like on that? You want turkey?
Would you like anything else with that? Some ham?
Is that everything? Some bacon? Damn
We don’t have that today. Calm down. There is
Other stuff. All the meats? These sandwiches
Are bad. They drip in oil and grease. What cheese?
Some pepper jack? Alright.” “Yeah, toasted please.”
“It’s done. Now what kind of veggies would you
Like on your sandwich? Look at the menu,
Alright?” “Lettuce, onion, well, uh, let’s see.
How about tomato? Or possibly
Olives.” “None.” “Well. Banana peppers and
JalapeƱos.” “So much Greed that I’m mad.
They can’t hold back. What sauce do you want?”
“Chipotle and some ranch.” “Done. Such treatment.
The customers are so very mean and rude.
Why can’t we all have a good attitude?”

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Food Service Epic: Epic Simile

Part two of my epic where my teacher asked me to look at an epic simile. In the case of this simile I am relating it back to Dante's Inferno.

Epic Simile

In service there are nine arenas for
The dashing hero to pursue. The lore
Of which derides from fire as if the nine
Circles of hell; a duplicate design.
The meal checker, a lonely post, is first
In Limbo lies an area not the worst.
To-go comes next, Lustily the hero lies,
Blown back and forth in wind so strong your cries
Cannot be heard. Escape to dish in slush
He sighs, so vile and foul and thus must rush
To Greed. In deli joust between two lines
Call back and forth. Demons cannot read signs.
What do they want, they do not know, so off
To Anger we must go. But out we cough
The swampy water. Filling station—Wrath
We feel, we gurgle. Off we flee. A path
Opens to Heresy, in flaming tombs we grill
Then switch to Violence. Stomachs we must fill.
The bistro line holds boiling blood and sand
So hot and blasphemous that we can’t stand.
The Hypocrites are next to punish, they
Who walk with listless stupor, stumble day
And night to clean the tables. Monitor
Moves next from Fraud and must reconsider
His Treachery, were he must freeze in lakes
So cold, to deal with salad and with cake.
The whining customer doth want his ranch.
This hellish place, the poet knows there’s a branch
Held out in compromise, then pulled away.
The customer will not be held at bay. 

Food Service Epic: Theme and Invocation to Muse

For one of my classes this semester I have to write parts of an epic. I chose to do it about food service and in the case of this specific poem I am using the dining hall, Braiden, on the Colorado State University campus as a reference as this is where I currently work and have worked for the past for years. This is the first part.

Theme and Invocation to the Muse

Thoughtlessness—that envelops all who come, within
The hallowed halls of bounty we begin.
Incompetence from visitors amuses
The God to whom we drink our nightly booze.
The God to which we sacrifice to make
Better our place of worship—thus we take
Our spoils to the dish room God who hates
The mindless actions of the newcomer late
To his first shift. Our God, we sing to change
Thoughtless newcomer—strong and tall and brave.
In second year the newbie starts to work
Believing that it’s nothing hard, a smirk
Adorns his face. A job in food service
Is not too hard. But as a freshie curses
Were flung his way. He cannot see what he
Had done to workers who worked hard like me.
To dish room God I sing, to teach this boy
What hardship means. Naivety destroy.