Monday, March 30, 2015

I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes--open

I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes—open

I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes—open
But the light—goes—out
 and I’m—Wide—awake—
but the Dream’s the same
And  I don’t know what it’s all about.

Dancer’s spin—and grin as they twirl
Around the darkened—room
And I’m—Still —awake—
Though it seems a dream—I take
A moment to—peer—through the gloom.

The Dancers change—to demons—
Fangs bared—and eyes—of red
Appear—but I’m wide—awake—
And all I can think—is there’s some—mistake
As I fill—with the sense—of dark dread.

The Demon’s morph—they fill my mind—
All comfort changes to—fear—
Why am I wide—awake—
I can no longer wait—
As the Demons continue to appear.

Forward they leap—in a macabre dance—
Their claws—digging into my skull—
Keeping me wide—awake—
Calm dreams I forsake—
Into hell—I am consciously pulled.

Dragging myself—through the fire and stone,
I must escape the voice in my head—
Screaming at me to wake—
And I fear I will break—
As all dignity—and joy—it does shred.

Holding on with all my Might—
To my sanity I cling
Trying not to stay—awake—
Though I fear I may have to fake—
A happiness that only sleep—will bring.

For hours—I struggle—with the demons
Forcing them to stay at bay
So I’m no longer awake
When the world starts to quake
And before I can blink—it will be day— 

Friday, March 27, 2015

Heave and Breathe and try not to Scream

Heave and Breathe and try not to Scream

So many things to be stressed about
Where do I even start—
It’s all falling apart.
Crumbling into pieces,
Disappearing into dust—
A bulldozer ran it over
But I know that I must
I must go on and face the danger
Face the anger
And all the pain I feel
I know that I must be stronger and pull apart the fear
About a future so uncertain
That’s crumbled into the sea
A mighty tsunami rolled me over
Without remorse at my daunting plea.
I try to breathe in any air
But all I get is water,
Water that fills up my lungs
An event that does not augur
Well for how I’m handling
The storm that’s headed my way
So I heave
And breathe
And try not to scream
As I face each and every day.
Where will this long road lead me?
What hope do I even have
Of making  it down the river
And finding my footing on dry land?
In a future so uncertain
I can only hope that all goes well
And work as hard as possible
To make it out of this trek through hell
In a fire so unbearable
I can’t see a single thing
Everything around  me is shimmering
And I can’t take the unforgiving sting
Of flames licking across my chest
And burning down my face
So I heave
And breathe
And try not to scream
As I try to make all haste
Only to come across another obstacle
It seems everything stands in my way
What do I do? What do I do?
This pain just won’t go away.
Yet the tears refuse to fall
And I can’t seem to let myself heal
As the emotions get ever stronger
My head is starting to reel.
I can’t breathe
I can’t scream
I can’t even feel anything real,
When will it end
When will I bend
Because I don’t have a back of steel.
It hurts
It hurts
I can’t stop the burn
I can only go so far
Until I reach a dead end
And I must defend
The life that I hold so dear.
My only option is to continue
And push as hard as I can
To pierce the dead end
And maybe mend
But I watch the whole plan
That was my future start to
To crawl
Away and into the dark.
I must continue
I must press on
Until I reach the end
No matter how far
So I force the air
Through my chest
And heave
And breathe
And try not to scream.