Tuesday, April 28, 2015



Overrides all else.
Heart beats at an increased rate
Mind goes blank.
Whatever incited the fear
Is all that is there.
You start to sweat
Salt on the lip
There is no distraction
From fear.
There is no calm
You can’t move on
Your focus narrows
On only one thing.
You want to run
Or stand still
A contradiction
And your mind moves slow
Decreasing your reactions
Until the adrenaline spikes.
But what can you do
When you cannot run?
Adrenaline doesn’t help
You shiver—
You stare—
Uncertain what to do. 
Short breaths
Nothing else registers
But fear. 

Sunday, April 26, 2015



Anger is a pain, deep in my chest
It throbs, it pulses, it will never rest
A red haze descends and constricts my sight
Until everything seems bad and I just want to fight
Or run away, and seethe, quietly alone
And any confrontation I try to postpone
Until it boils up and I can’t hold it in
My stomach feels nauseous, I feel too big for my skin
And my head feels like it will pop
And I’m not sure I can stop
The tirade of words that wish to spill out
Though I wish I could do without
The haze on my thoughts, so I can think clearly
As anger covers all and I nearly
Do something I don’t want to do
But I try to take a deep breath and break through
The fury seething like a volcano
And my whirling emotions like a tornado
So I can calmly face the problem at hand
So the cause of my anger they can all understand
And we can fix the problem that created this emotion
And we can stop this ceaseless constant erosion
At the walls of the dam that keeps in my voice
And hopefully now I can have the choice
To notice that anger, that seething hate
That causes me to groan and be irate
And instead we can talk and solve the problem
And if we get lucky we can get down to the bottom
Of the anger and there will be a solution
And we can come to a calm and quiet resolution. 

Monday, April 20, 2015

I Am Here

I Am Here

I Am Here—
The steady pulse, the beat of music
Dwells in the background.
The soft click, the tick, the beat of the keyboard,
Hard chair, soft floor—
Soft cat dancing around my chair,
A soft mew
Seeking attention.
A soft pat on the head, he purrs and walks away
Only to wander
It smells of a roast cooking—
A waft of onion—
Drifts through the room
And out the window into the
The keys on the keyboard
Are hard
And though they relent
It is only just enough to register
And translate my thoughts
To the bright
The dark, black words appear across a pristine white page
Giving it a meaning.
A sour taste permeates my mouth,
So I reach for water
To wash it away.
But it still remains—
Though dulled.
My necklace clicks
And shifts
Against the soft skin at my throat.
My phone buzzes
My roommate curses
A car drives by
The cat yells
And spazzes behind me, playing with his dirty sock
Filled with catnip.
The song ends.
I Am Here—

Monday, April 6, 2015

Long, Dark Hallway

Long, Dark Hallway

Some days I feel like I opened a door
Only to have it slam shut
Leaving me in a state of confusion
That feeling is shocking and abrupt
So I stand there silent, unsure
About my next course of action.
Stepping away from the door I look for
Something, anything that will come as a distraction
And lead me away from the swirling feelings
But all I see is the blank door
And a hall so long and white,
There’s nothing left to explore.
I’ve been that way, I came that way
And there is nothing left to see
But the way ahead is blocked, it’s stuck
And there’s no way to break it free.
If I can’t move forward or go back
What course do I have to take?
Maybe if I kick it hard enough
The obstacle will break.
But the fear holds me back,
I just can’t go forward,
Even though this bleak hallway
Leaves me feeling cornered
What if the other side
Is something much, much worse,
A living so abominable
A situation that is adverse?
But I have no option
I must continue
I can make it better
I can make it new.
So I’ll kick the door open
And move on in spite of the uncertainty,
I have no choice, so until I rejoice
My future pleasantries,
I be strong and try to hold on
And I’ll put up a daring fight.
So I’ll kick the door open
Reach in and turn on the light.