Quiet - Silent

 

Quiet - Silent

6/17/2025

 

I grew up in a house, that was as quiet as a crypt,

And me just like a page so blank and nondescript,

While I’d tiptoe around on eggshells, and mutely there I’d sit.

Never was there a loud sound, no words spoken harsh and clipped.

We just stayed quiet – silent, as my parents were not equipped

To hand out praise and love, unable to stick to the script,

We just stuck to the silence, hoping it would never get tipped

Past the point of mere negligence to the script getting flipped

Becoming abusive. So instead along we just skipped

Holding on to the oppressive silence, mouths not to be unzipped.

Broken China Doll

 

Broken China Doll

6/17/2025

 

What do you ask a broken China doll

When it falls down on the ground?

It’s just one more - crack - that you can’t take back

Though it may not even make a sound.

With each new fall - with each new – chip,

The – pain – just keeps on growing,

But the painted smile just stays in place,

To hide what you have no way of knowing.

So no one can see that constant – pain,

All those – cracks - that are hidden well,

Though every day the – aches – don’t fade,

It’s a secret he’ll never tell.

 

Because no one can see it, no one will notice

They all assume he’s doing fine,

But the – cracks - are growing although they’re not showing

And one day he’ll shatter –

to this fate he is resigned.

Price of Blood

 

Price of Blood

6/17/2025
 
“Blood is thicker than water,”
Ancient words in a dusty tome,
But does it still stand when they keep on taking
Leaving you drier than a desert bone?
It doesn’t matter if the taking is physical
Like money, or blood, or land,
Or if it’s something mental,
A pain even harder to withstand.
It’s not worth staying in that place
Even with the price of blood,
You deserve to flourish and be at peace,
So you can shine just like the sun.

Every Day - The End

 

Every Day – The End

2/17/25 

Every day I’m walking on the edge
Looking at the news, wondering what’s next,
As we spiral, the leaders preach and condescend.
 
Every day we’re closer and closer to the end
Of who stays here, and who gets left,
In the nazi nation that’s made its way to what we defend.
 
The thorns have covered everything, starting to extend
Over the things we love, with the same pretext
As we spiral down, the leaders preach and condescend.
 
I’m telling you there’s no need to pretend,
We can all see without contest
That the nazi nation has made its way to what we defend.
 
So now we must watch as it all descends
An America breaks, and I mean to offend
As we spiral down, the leaders preach and condescend
In the nazi nations that’s made its way to what we defend.

Soren

 

Soren
1/30/2025
 
I push off the weight of my ancestors who only hold me down.
I toss away the expectations that sway me while I drown.
I scream, “What are the answers to the questions I ask the most?
And why do I flee this knowledge that follows me like a ghost?”
“Who am I?” on my knees I cry, my fists raised to the sky,
“And when did I get so lost? Please just tell me why?
Why must I carry this burden, the sense that I don’t belong?
How did I lose myself and how could it go so wrong?”
But no answers am I given, and this I cannot take,
It is time to find the truth myself because truth will no longer wait.
 
So, I cast off this mantle you forced on me, this guise I was made to hold,
To toss away this unfair burden forcing me into this mold.
It is time to find the self I hid, the me I left behind,
The person who I really am is to no longer be denied.
“This is me!” I scream it out to you, “I care not if you agree,
The person I am I need to find, so this I do decree,
Accept it or not! I care not which. But if you want me ‘round
You must respect the new me, for ‘myself’ is no longer bound
By the expectations of ancestors long buried in the ground,
Because the ones who care the most will stay, of this I’ve found.”
 
This is the new me,
The person I’ll be,
Though inside the same,
I scream my new name,
It is time for me to break free.
                                                            “Soren!”

Eulogy to Atticus - Better Late Then Never

 

Eulogy to Atticus – Better Late Then Never

1/7/25

I don’t know why your death snuck up on me,
like a stab wound to the back,
It’s been so long since you’ve been gone
But still, I feel your lack.
An empty hole where once you were,
That nothing I have can fill,
I miss you so, why did you go?
My heart bleeds for you still.
Others say that I should move on
And I truly thought I had,
But time to time our sharp goodbye
Comes spinning round my head.
It’s a time like that these words do flow
So, here’s my eulogy to you.
Better late than never, my dear friend
I miss you so bad. I do.
I never wanted to say goodbye,
T’was a task hard to comprehend,
The tears fell hard as my heart broke
As it was time to give you your end.
I held you tight, I didn’t let go
Until the light had left your eyes,
I had to turn and leave you
Though you couldn’t hear my cries.
You held onto a piece of my heart,
A piece I can’t take back,
I leave it here an ode to you,
My tear-stained panic attack.
You always had a special thing,
A way to make me smile,
No matter what, you’d help me laugh,
Even if only for a while.
Your constant warmth and soft sweet touch
Kept the darkest demons away,
You were a constant column of support
That kept my depression at bay.
With you, you took all of my light
The joy that I needed most,
It took some time, but I’m alright,
Though I still push off your ghost.
It’ll haunt me forever, until my death,
And it’ll hurt, and I may cry,
I miss you so, but you had to go,
You were sick, a death we couldn’t deny.
But it’s time to step away
Though all your memories I hold dear,
I miss you so, I know you had to go,
Sometimes I still feel you near.
So, I’ll say goodbye just one more time
As your memory I hold close,
I miss you so and I won’t let go,
Your memory is there when I need it most.

In Memory: Atticus Douglas 4/16/2023

Caught in the Web

 

Caught in the Web

12/24/24

 

Depression is like a big black spider hovering out of sight above
Weaving a web to snatch up all the things, like joy, and peace, and love.
The web wraps itself all around you, restricting you more and more
Until you have no will to fight, and everything becomes a chore.
 
Depression is like a spider, drinking up all of your years,
Until you find, and you don’t know why, you can’t shed anymore tears.
And the longer it takes to realize this fate, the harder it is to unwind,
Because you’re wrapped up in the web with no will left for you to find.
 
Anxiety is like cobwebs, scattered all around the room,
Strung along from here to there as neatly as a loom,
And before you even know it, you’ve been caught up in the web
With a lethal dose of anxiety that leaves you hiding in your bed.
 
Anxiety is just like a cobweb, and you never know just when
The spider left, will it come back, and exactly where has it been?
Is it hiding in the closet? Under the bed or in my clothes?
Or maybe in the library, hiding among books that fill rows and rows.
 
Anxiety sneaks up on you and suddenly it’s there,
Depression lingers long and hard, coming often as a pair.

Parody of Christmas

 

Parody of Christmas

12/24/24

 

We’re taking back the holidays, just one year at a time,
We’re taking back the holidays for you, and yours, and mine.
Around the winter solstice, so many choose to celebrate,
But most aren’t true to the winter spirit so now we must retaliate.
It’s time to take back Christmas, and time to take back the tree,
It’s time to take back the presents, at least if you’re asking me.
This time of year isn’t just a free for all, while it’s loud and crazy and cold,
We must celebrate the one religion, or at least that’s what I’m told.
“Yes,” I see the Christians nodding, with bumper stickers on their cars,
This time is for the Christians, both here or there, or far.
But this just in, I hear it’s stolen, it’s not the time that Christ was born,
So, yes, I’m taking back Christmas to the good olde days of yore.
I’m taking us back to the time before Christians, back to when pine trees
Were brought inside to hold on tight to whatever was alive you see.
To the cold and lonely solstice, not some lady on a mule,
So, yes, I’m taking back Christmas, to the merry days of Yule.

A Slow & Boring Death

 

A Slow & Boring Death

12/24/24

 
It’s the day I die of boredom,
It’s possible, it’s true,
You wouldn’t think it could happen,
Until it’s happening to you.
 
You stand around just doing nothing,
In my case, because I’m at work.
But since there’s nothing to do today
I just stand in the back and lurk.
 
It doesn’t have to be at work you’ll find
When you end up with nothing to do,
The boredom swallows you up real tight,
And you’ll die right out of the blue.

The Season of Change

 

The Season of Change

12/22/24

It is today, the season of change
A time for us to move on,
Away from what we know, to make our way forward,
And take stock of what has begun.
 
It may be quite hard to admit
That thing that you don’t want to know,
But we must truly know it or we will grow stagnant
And now is the right time to grow.
 
I see that you need it, so just take a minute
To process the knowledge, you have gained.
The truth is you need it, it’s time to admit it,
Even if life is never the same.
 
You are who you are, don’t you dare let them change you,
Or tell you what it is you should be.
For this life is yours, so be who you want,
Only then will you finally be free.

Sinking Ship

 

Sinking Ship

12/22/24

 America stands on the very tip
Of a large and wasted sinking ship.
An iceberg hit us, we’re going down,
Abandon ship or you might drown.
We found the captain to be a madman,
Sporting a stupid grin and orange, tan,
Who watches the ship sink with screaming cries
Of “Make America Great!” a stupid lie.
So now the rest of us watch on in fear
Because we can see that the end is near.
 
America is a sinking ship, and we are standing on the edge
Of a dark and violent precipice, looking bleakly from the ledge.
America, the bold and free, the eagle flying through the sky,
 Soon will crash and tumble, falling broken from on high.
An empire only lasts so long before it comes apart,
And we are past that breaking point, so it’s time to throw the dart
And that tip will soon hit its target, it’s just a matter of when,
It’ll soon come apart, but please don’t lose heart, it’s time for new growth to begin.
 
The end of things is natural, just like the iceberg we have hit,
So, we stand on the tip as the ship sinks down and watch as a new story gets written.

The Courage to Step Forward

 

The Courage to Step Forward

12/22/24

 
Having the courage to step forward,
To put yourself out on the line
Is truly a task that’s not easy,
So those that do are mighty fine.
 
They put themselves up at the front
Taking harm that others can’t,
To become the shield, both sturdy and strong,
Planting roots that are steady and fast.
 
Calling out the behavior of others
Is not the most simple of tasks,
And it’s an action that oft’ is ignored
And one the wielder often masks.
 
So, to all of those brave unseen heroes,
It’s time to give a round of applause,
As they stand at the front of a war to be won
Raising high the banner of the cause.

Spiderwebs

 Spiderwebs

9/10/2020

 

Inside my head are spiderwebs

Covered in hideous spiders.

Behind them they hide what’s in my mind

These webs, they act as dividers.

When anxiety spikes, I cannot think,

Fighting the spiders in my head,

With no weapons, no skills, no way to win,

But if the spider doesn’t end up dead

I can’t clear away the spiderweb

And reach what lies behind

I can’t breathe, I can’t see, my mind I can’t reach

In the threads I become entwined.

Everyday has become a struggle

To clear away the threads

Because if I don’t stop, or I give up,

I’ll get tangled in the webs.

2020 pt 4: Wildfires

 2020 pt. 4: Wildfires

9/10/2020

 

The world began with fire and ash,

And now we watch as the west burns.

For everything has a beginning,

And every beginning has an ending.

 

The whole coast is shrouded in flames

And ash falls from the sky like rain.

People flee as the lives they built shatter

But even as they run, and scatter,

They keep running west, to the shore,

Which is the only thing left anymore.

The only place left to go is the sea.

It’s the safest place to be.

 

The smoke covers the sky as it rises

Erasing the landscape around it.

For an ending might be coming

To bring forward a new beginning.

2020 pt 3: Protests

 2020 pt. 3: Protests

9/10/2020

 

“I can’t breathe,” George Floyd said

As he was choked to death,

Pulled out of his car and down on the ground

A knee on throat as he expelled his last breath.

 

Breonna Taylor was shot to death

When police pushed into her home,

They had a warrant, but not for her,

Her death cut us to the bone.

 

Many more were killed this year,

Murdered horribly by police,

A large percent of them were black,

So, people took it to the streets.

“Police brutality!” the country screamed

As they tried to prove a point,

But the police responded with violence.

The world they disappoint.

Most of the protests were peaceful

As together people stood,

Begging the country to make a change

To fix whatever they could.

Some states tried to appease the people

Putting new rules into place,

But a few protestors were violent,

The naysayers called protestors a disgrace.

 

Though months later, the protests haven’t stopped

As everyone tries to bring change,

But as the violence against us draws on,

We can’t help but continue to rage.

 

“I can’t breathe.”

2020 pt 2: Murder Hornets

 

2020 pt. 2: Murder Hornets

9/10/2020

 

The end of spring brought a twist

When murder hornets made their way

Into the states up further north,

But where they here to stay?

The hornets, they told us were horrible

Killing bugs and men and beast,

A sudden terror of these little things

Was one more thing, to say the least.

Luckily, they faded away

Disappearing into the year

Just one more thing to cross off

Just one more thing that’s left to fear.

2020 pt 1: Shut Down

 

2020 pt. 1: Shut Down

9/10/2020

 

At the start of the year, we made our plans

And everything seemed so well.

So many things we wanted to do

Before everything turned to Hell.

It wasn’t long, before whispers of

A disease around the globe

Popped up to cause a frightful start

And put a block up in the road.

In March, the country became shut down

And we were told to stay home,

As Covid swept across the states,

Leaving us nowhere to go.

On and on, we stayed inside,

And wore masks to bring some peace,

But time wore on, and nothing changed

In America, it would not cease.

It’s September now, and though we’ve tried,

Our worlds are still tight and closed,

The germs still spread, though places open

I’d rather just stay home.

The pandemic swept across the world,

So many people died,

Businesses closed and jobs were lost,

For these reasons and more, we cried.

Our First Year

Our First Year

4-8-2020

It was – truly Fate – that we should meet

And wind up in this place,

For any – Change – of circumstance

And that wouldn’t be the case.

To end up working the same job

By – merely a Game – of chance,

There you came to notice me

With only – but a Glance –

Though much Time passed before we Joined

And – truly became – a Pair,

We live here now, to – Love and Learn –

In this – Magical – life we share.

Last year we Wed and together vowed

To share our – Earthly span –

Then later vowed for longer still,

Eternity – if we can.

Happy Anniversary.

Keep to Myself

Keep to Myself

6/16/2018

I often hide behind my doors

And lock them, so no one comes in,

I’m just so shy that I want to cry.

Talking with people seems foreign.

So, I hide in my room with a book in hand

Or when I’m alone I like to sing,

But often I feel out of place

And the feeling starts to sting.

But I hate getting left behind

I hate feeling left out,

Though in conversation, I get pushed aside

And it makes me want to shout!

TO SCREAM at the injustice

And the things I just can’t say.

But instead I stay behind my door

Hoping that it will go away.

Though often it’s a lonely life

Where people pass me bye,

I live happily in my solitude

Without a question or thought of why.

I keep to myself and come out when I want

I do what I wish with nary a thought.

To My Dad

To My Dad

6/12/2018

My dad has done so many things, to help me get through life

When I was a child and growing up he helped me through all strife.

There was a time when I was young, and I hurt from getting a shot

My dad was there, he held my hand, and then he picked me up.

And when we were young, without delay, he would come and play with us

He’d pretend to be a papa wolf and would join without a fuss.

He ran around, down on all fours, on the living room floor

And howled to the moon with my sister and I, but he also did much more.

When I was hurt and couldn’t walk, he helped me get around

He helped me to class, and waited for me, and didn’t make a sound

Of complaint or aggravation, he just helped me on my way

And through my life, it’s been like that, he helped me learn each day.

He helped us with our homework whenever he had the time

And he taught us important lessons even though we thought that a crime

Cause we didn’t want to listen and we thought it was such a bore

But later in life, I realized he’s right, and I wished I’d listened more.

My dad has always been there for me, he taught me wrong and right

He helped me through things big and small, and things turned out alright.