Long, Dark Hallway

Long, Dark Hallway

4/6/2015

Some days I feel like I opened a door

Only to have it slam shut

Leaving me in a state of confusion

That feeling is shocking and abrupt

So I stand there silent, unsure

About my next course of action.

Stepping away from the door I look for

Something, anything that will come as a distraction

And lead me away from the swirling feelings

But all I see is the blank door

And a hall so long and white,

There’s nothing left to explore.

I’ve been that way, I came that way

And there is nothing left to see

But the way ahead is blocked, it’s stuck

And there’s no way to break it free.

If I can’t move forward or go back

What course do I have to take?

Maybe if I kick it hard enough

The obstacle will break.

But the fear holds me back,

I just can’t go forward,

Even though this bleak hallway

Leaves me feeling cornered

What if the other side

Is something much, much worse,

A living so abominable

A situation that is adverse?

But I have no option

I must continue

I can make it better

I can make it new.

So I’ll kick the door open

And move on in spite of the uncertainty,

I have no choice, so until I rejoice

My future pleasantries,

I be strong and try to hold on

And I’ll put up a daring fight.

So I’ll kick the door open

Reach in and turn on the light.  

Floating in the Ocean

Floating in the Ocean

1/6/2015

The seas are now changing and I must be strong,

I hold the wheel steady though so much could go wrong.

I’ve begun to feel dizzy, I can’t keep my head

But I have so few options, no fallback plans instead

Of my falling, my vessel’s drifting off course,

I grip only the wheel and hope it doesn’t get worse.

I can’t see the shore, there’s no land to be seen

As I drift steadily off course, I can’t contain the scream

Of horror and terror, the desperate pleas

To weigh down the anchor and get out of the seas.

I’m floating in the ocean, no land to be found,

I cannot see sunlight and my feet can’t touch ground.

The storm keeps on brewing that threw me off course

So I turn to the heavens, and pray for recourse

But nothing has changed and the quest only gets harder

But what choice do I have but to find some smarter

Plan to reset my path and I must go somewhere

So I pull out a map and push away despair.

I must draw a new course and make it my own,

Though I fight through rough waters, and the seeds I have sown

Of my drift in the ocean, but I can put it to right,

I’ll find a way through the darkness and turn on the light,

Through the clouds and the shadows, through wave after wave,

I’ll fight mighty monsters and make myself brave.

I’ll journey through unknown with no end in sight

But I know I can do it if I put up a fight!

I’ll find land again and find my own place

Though I may be treading water, gladly I’ll face

A future that’s uncertain, a black wall of rain,

I’ll push past the lost love and push past the pain

To a land of great beauty where I know I belong.

The journey may be rough, uncertain and long

If I find my own happiness it cannot be wrong,

So though it may be hard, I have to be strong,

Even if that means my float in the ocean I must prolong

Because one day I’ll reach shore where I can burst into a song

Of joyous occasion where my future is plain

Where all my uncertainty has been strangled and slain.

The Road I Travel

The Road I Travel

8/20/10

Hills and valleys,

Buildings and cars,

The places I see,

I’ve traveled so far.

This new road I travel

Terrifies me,

But if I don’t walk it

I’ll never be free.

So I continue on

Putting one foot in front of the other,

And keep on moving,

So I can move further.

I put the past behind me

As I search for my goal,

I follow my path

And try to be whole.

I must find myself

As I struggle each day,

I look toward the future

And make my own way.

The future is blurred,

Unfocused and uncertain,

But I will force myself forward,

Until I close my own curtain.

The Future Ahead

The Future Ahead

5/10/10

As I look ahead of me

At the path I must follow,

I quiver in my boots

And at times I just feel hollow.

The future looms ahead

And I have no idea what to do,

The sky looming forever onward,

So high and free and blue.

But free I am not,

I am trapped in this body,

As I clutch at random straws

Trying to avoid folly.

But then a cool breeze

Gently pushes its way forward,

I breathe a sigh of relief

As I start to move onward.

Finally a thought came to mind

Just as forth right as a creature,

There is one thing we must not be afraid of

And that thing is the future.

If you fear the future

Then you can never move on,

You will strive forever forward

As you try to get away from the dawn.