When They Walk Out the Door

When They Walk Out the Door

5/26/2015

The worst feeling one can possibly have

Is to see the one you love most, walk out the door

And you don’t know when they might be back.

To let go of that hand is the worst thing of all

Whether they come back to you or not

Really isn’t your call.

So you wait and you wait until you see them again

And you can’t help but smile when you see their face

But then you must go on and pretend

Like everything is going to be alright,

You have to take a deep breath

And put up a righteous and glorious fight

To not succumb to the pain and show the tears

And to keep a tight hold on your secret

And put a leash on all of your fears

So the one you love most will not worry

And stop to make the goodbye longer

So instead you push and try to make them hurry

Out the door when all you want is to be together

But you have no choice or it will be harder

So instead you try to be wise and clever

And get them to leave faster and be on their way

So you can cry and hurt by yourself

And hope to see them again another day.

But the one you love notices

They always do,

They can see the hurt on your face

And the sadness too,

So they don’t walk out that door

They don’t walk away

Instead they stay and dry your tears

And at least for a little longer they choose to stay.

They make everything better

And though it may feel like you will never

See their face again

You don’t have to hold tight and pretend

Because they will ease away the pain

And help you keep yourself sane

Before they step out that door

And promise to see you because your face they adore.

They will kiss your lips

And promise it’s not the apocalypse

They will always come back

And kept your heart intact

For they love you most of all

And they will help you keep your head tall. 

Floating in the Ocean

Floating in the Ocean

1/6/2015

The seas are now changing and I must be strong,

I hold the wheel steady though so much could go wrong.

I’ve begun to feel dizzy, I can’t keep my head

But I have so few options, no fallback plans instead

Of my falling, my vessel’s drifting off course,

I grip only the wheel and hope it doesn’t get worse.

I can’t see the shore, there’s no land to be seen

As I drift steadily off course, I can’t contain the scream

Of horror and terror, the desperate pleas

To weigh down the anchor and get out of the seas.

I’m floating in the ocean, no land to be found,

I cannot see sunlight and my feet can’t touch ground.

The storm keeps on brewing that threw me off course

So I turn to the heavens, and pray for recourse

But nothing has changed and the quest only gets harder

But what choice do I have but to find some smarter

Plan to reset my path and I must go somewhere

So I pull out a map and push away despair.

I must draw a new course and make it my own,

Though I fight through rough waters, and the seeds I have sown

Of my drift in the ocean, but I can put it to right,

I’ll find a way through the darkness and turn on the light,

Through the clouds and the shadows, through wave after wave,

I’ll fight mighty monsters and make myself brave.

I’ll journey through unknown with no end in sight

But I know I can do it if I put up a fight!

I’ll find land again and find my own place

Though I may be treading water, gladly I’ll face

A future that’s uncertain, a black wall of rain,

I’ll push past the lost love and push past the pain

To a land of great beauty where I know I belong.

The journey may be rough, uncertain and long

If I find my own happiness it cannot be wrong,

So though it may be hard, I have to be strong,

Even if that means my float in the ocean I must prolong

Because one day I’ll reach shore where I can burst into a song

Of joyous occasion where my future is plain

Where all my uncertainty has been strangled and slain.

Lies

Lies

4/8/2014

No matter what they say, I’ll be okay

You can no longer hurt me,

So I continue to live to see another day.

I laugh, I smile, and I am gay,

I play and dance and sing,

So no matter what you say, I am okay.

Though my heart got hurt, that’s gone away

I’ve locked it with a skeleton key,

So I will continue to live another day.

I travel my own path because we split ways

And though you may not see

That no matter what I say, I’ll be okay.

In a dark room I sigh the night away

And I try not to hate the he

Who forces me to live to see another day.

He left me alone and there’s hell to pay

But since I can’t toss him into the sea

No matter what I say, I’ll be okay

And continue to live to see another day.

Sun in my Eyes

Sun in My Eyes

8/16/2013

Every time I look at you

You are so bright it’s almost as if

The sun is in my eyes.

So high in the sky

You fly so far above the rest of us

That we could never compare.

Everything you say and do

Every word and action you make

So bright and sunny.

Especially when you smile it’s almost as if

The sun is in my eyes.

But there is a dark secret you hide

Something shared with none.

That smile so bright

Thant shines like the sun

That blinds all who see

Is a lie.

Though it’s a smile as bright as the sun

All we really see is the moon.

Even though the moon is full

And it’s so very bright,

That’s all it is,

A poor reflection of the sun.

So even though it appears

To shine of its own volition

It doesn’t truly.

That smile is a fraud

Meant to deceive.

You are not bright like the sun.

In fact, all you really are

Is a dull reflection

Who thinks they are bright

And high in the sky.

All you are is

A lie.

One Small Word

One Small Word

5/17/2013

Silence descends,

No words spoken

The air snaps, sizzles.

Why?

One word…

One small word led to such tension.

One small word…

One word…

And the flood broke

Leading to

No words

Spoken.

Nothing said—

Nothing fixed—

But should I save it?

Or do I let it

Fall apart?

Crumble, break

Like a castle that been

Besieged for far—too—long.

Is this castle

Worth

Saving?

Building back up

From brick to brick?

Is it worth it?

A good question—

That answer of which

I know not.

But my answer

After thinking

And thinking—

It’s—not—worth—

The pain and anger

All the energy expended

But only on my part.

No

No

No.

It’s—not—worth it.

When she leaves,

I’ll just let it

Fade

Away.