Words of Others

Words of Others

3/31/2011

The truth of the matter

That others can observe

Is that even when I’m silent

I keep my precious words in reserve.

Speaking doesn’t come that easy

So I’ll wander through my mind

And I listen oh so quietly

And see what I can find.

The words of others echo

In circles in my head,

The fear that I won’t get them out

And the fear that they won’t be read.

So obvious, so plain in me

The things that I can feel,

I carry close this empathy,

Others emotions I conceal.  

Words Hurt

Words Hurt

10/7/2014

Words hurt.

You can try to deny it but if I told you how

Ugly

And worthless you are

It would hurt.

More so if you care about me and my opinions.

If I am a peer,

A coworker,

A friend,

A daughter,

A lover,

My words could do catastrophic damage.

I could tear out your soul and crush it in my fist.

You’d claim you’re okay, that “sticks and stones, man.”

But inside you’re still bleeding.

Denying it doesn’t change a thing.

Doesn’t change the fact that words

Are like spider webs.

They stick to the corners and won’t go away

Because every time you clear them

The spider comes back and rebuilds.

The web is still there.

The threads interweave through the recesses of your mind and the first time I say something harsh and cruel

It sticks

And it stays,

And it reverberates through your mind.

Each time you clear it, it may move back, further in your mine, but that doesn’t change the fact that

It’s

Still

There.

Waiting for you to remember and hurt all over again.

Physical wounds hurt

But with time they fade

And you forget.

I have scars that I don’t remember where they came from.

But when my heart hurts, it hurts for a long time.

For years

Decades

My whole life.

Going to college and being an English major,

A writer,

A poet,

I know the value of picking the right words and which emotions they invoke.

Words have power.

Words have strength.

You can deny it all you want

But it

Changes

Nothing.

Words still hurt

And you cry inside like a child who knows just what words can really do.

Bullies take advantage of this deception.

You try so hard to pretend like it doesn’t hurt

Until it’s too late

And the pain in so vast that even the ocean can’t hold it

And you drown.

You sink to the very bottom of the abyss struggling for a breath of air and all you can hear are those horrid

words ringing in your ears until

Anger

Rage

Violence

Depression

Suicide.

Locked into an ever declining spiral because you couldn’t tell the effect someone else’s words had on you.

Your own ignorance distanced you and now

You can’t find a way back.

But

Words can also heal.

When someone reaches out and pulls you out of the ocean of your own emotions,

When they drag you back to the light of day and say

            “You aren’t ugly,

            You aren’t worthless.

            You are beautiful

            And you are smart.”

You can come back from that abyss and find your way home.

Words hurt,

But words can also heal.

Words are important.

Don’t forget that.

Words are a Tool

Words are a Tool

2/27/11

My sister who does not share my blood

Lost her father one cold and empty February.

It may have been only a year so,

But since then, it’s been an eternity.

The one thing I noticed on those lonesome days,

Were the certain words people chose to say,

They caused me great frustration

Because there was no feeling in any way.

“I’m sorry,” people muttered quietly

While my friend stared out at the cold.

That phrasing has been used so often,

From the young, and by the old.

Some days later, I brought this up

Wondering what she thought,

“Why must people always apologize

When they share no blame for what’s been wrought?”

She replied, “It’s just what people say,

When they don’t know what words to use.”

“But that really doesn’t make much sense,”

I aggressively accused.

“If you’re always using words that way

They eventually lose what they mean,

The feeling is lost by frequent use,

I’ve learned this from what I’ve seen.”

Lightly tipping her head to the side,

With my heartfelt words she did agree.

Without much thought, words cease to feel

And this I don’t understand, why others can’t see.

“I promise,” “I wish,” “I’m sorry,”

“It isn’t all that bad.”

Constantly used, consistently ignored,

And there are many more to add.

Words are tools with special meanings

That contribute to who we are,

But if we keep using them like we do,

We won’t go very far.

Words and Knowledge

Words and Knowledge

5/17/2013

Words scrawled in Black ink across a sheet of pristine paper.

But without Knowledge, the scrawls of Black ink

            Mean nothing.

Without Knowledge, all these words are, are

            Black scrawls.

Black scrawls scribbled haplessly across a page

            Of pristine, white, paper.

A mess of Black ink that without the correct Knowledge

            Is illegible.

Without Knowledge, words mean nothing.

But without words, how do we communicate our Knowledge?

Words are essential.

But are words Knowledge?

I do not know.

White Whisker

White Whisker

2/21/2012

A single white whisker

On the floor

Lies, where no cat treads.

Where did it come from?

Why is it here?

Did I carry it in

When I walked through the door?

Where else could it come from?

A shadow cat?

A whispering wind?

Where? Where-

Did the white whisker

Come from?

What's In a Name?

What’s In a Name?

12/9/10

What does it mean

When you say something’s name?

Is that what it is?

Are they one and the same?

If that is true

Then is a flower a rose,

A plant, a vegetable,

And are all birds crows?

Does that mean if you call me a demon

That is what I am?

Or just because you say it,

Does that make me one of God’s lambs?

How do you know

What something truly was?

If you can’t see it

And you don’t know what it does?

A name doesn’t define you

And may not be true,

But people still believe it

And cannot get a clue.

A demon may not be a demon,

A song may not be sung,

An adult may be a child,

And a whip might be a tongue.

Just because we say it

Doesn’t make it so,

But words still are powerful,

And this is something I know.

Even if it isn’t true

Those words can still sting,

Sometimes you can’t ignore it

And keep living like a king.

So be careful what you say

Because a word’s a powerful thing.

But what’s in a name?

What harm can it bring?

What Matters

What Matters

1/27/2012

Writers only need to know

What matters at that time,

What matters to the story,

What matches with the rhyme.

Every other little thing does not

Really have a meaning.

All of it is worth only

What matters to my breathing.

Science does not matter if

It has nothing to do with

The subject matter of my life,

My story or my myth.

At the moment, it matters not

If it doesn’t match my reality.

Mathematics is a waste of time

As is the world of philosophy.

I know what I know,

I see what I see,

But everything else

Doesn’t matter to me.

Two Views of the World

Two Views of the World

4/12/2012

I look at the world from the Outside,

A part of it, yet not.

I view the world,

One among many.

People stand next to me

Yet we do not connect,

We stand together, but apart,

Uncertain of what we share.

We do not ask for one another’s views,

We do not ask after one another’s interests,

We do not ask about one another’s feelings,

We do not ask…

We stand separate,

Lost in our own worlds.

My views may not match yours

So I do not bother,

You do not bother…

For we stand separate.

We look at the world differently

And my views match no ones

They are mine alone,

For I look at the world from the Outside,

Wondering about it, but not experiencing it.

I look at the world from the Inside,

A part of it, a member.

I know all the people next to me,

The stranger I spoke to,

The man down the street,

My family in Europe,

My friend next door.

We all share views,

We all share interests,

We all share our feelings,

We all share…

I share everything and listen when needed.

I have my world, and you have yours,

Will you share with me?

I love to talk to others,

I love to view others worlds

So I can learn more about my own.

I stand together

With my family,

My friends,

And strangers alike,

Sharing my views with all who will listen.

I look at that world from the Inside,

Experiencing it, marveling at it.

True Love

True Love

7/13/09

Every single one of us

Will someday find the one we love.

But the details of the time and place

Will all be determined by the hands of fate.

The question I ask is simple and true,

And it’s a question I know is in your mind too.

Where is the one I truly love,

The one who’ll fit me like a glove?

How long must I quietly wait

To possess that most precious date

In time where I will find the one

Who’ll help me fly toward the soaring sun?

I’ll wait forever if I must

But at this time I want to thrust

The hands of the clock forward

So that I will move toward

The one I truly love,

Who’ll help me fly like a dove.

Time

Time

4/12/10

Time…

Time is the one thing

You can’t get back when lost.

Time…

Time is the one thing

We waste the most.

Time…

Time is the one thing

That is most precious.

Time…

Time is the one thing

That most people disregard.

Time…

Time is the one thing

That should be hated the most.

Time…

Time is the one thing

That will always repeat itself.

Time…

The Traveler

The Traveler

12/17/09

The bright sky was burning

And the ocean still turning

As I stood there, wondering, yearning,

For my home along the shore.

But then my heart was torn asunder

As the village below was plundered,

As soon I began to wonder,

If of the light, they will ever see more.

Again, I moved away pacing

With my mind forever racing

About the people I saw placing,

Spacing their dead out on the floor.

I turned my face quickly away

As my thoughts again began to stray

Back to my home on that dreadful day,

The day the rain started to forever pour.

The day I left, I do now regret

But soon I shall be forced to forget

As the vile villains that had beset

The villagers came and knocked me to the floor.

My wish to go back to my home town

Was smashed as again I was pushed to the ground

As I begged for a shred of pity to be found,

But they laughed and pushed me as before.

As I lie here crying, bleeding

For my family and friends my soul is weeping

Nevermore their trinkets shall I be keeping,

Leaving their memories within my store.

As I close my eyes in bliss and silence

All the useless noise and dreadful violence,

Not to mention my habit of willing compliance,

All slowly wither and show no more.

The Trap of Creativity

The Trap of Creativity

4/12/2012

The minds of the Creative,

The minds Trapped most often,

For they are the ones who are Mad.

The Superfluous Storytellers,

The Imaginative Actors,

Most often lose their minds

To the sands of Time.

The Creative get lost,

Trapped in their world,

A world that others

Just can’t understand.

The Creative folk

Are most often Alone

For this gift, they give something grand.

Emily Dickinson,

Walt Whitman,

Who gave something up,

Who lived life Alone.

The Creative give

Their life for the gift,

For in Creativity we are Trapped. 

The Silence

The Silence

Date Unknown

The silence is unbearable,

In the dark and lonely night,

I sit silently bundled up

As I long to turn on the light.

My eyes keep wandering

As I worry in my head,

My fears of the next day

Are what keep me in my bed.

I try to keep it hidden

In the total darkness,

But I want someone to find me,

And show me my true bravery.

The silence is a phantom thief,

Quietly stealing my mind,

I’ll just lie in the darkness,

Hoping for a sign.

I lay screaming in the blackness,

But nobody can hear me,

I can see the search light,

But me, no one can see.

The Road I Travel

The Road I Travel

8/20/10

Hills and valleys,

Buildings and cars,

The places I see,

I’ve traveled so far.

This new road I travel

Terrifies me,

But if I don’t walk it

I’ll never be free.

So I continue on

Putting one foot in front of the other,

And keep on moving,

So I can move further.

I put the past behind me

As I search for my goal,

I follow my path

And try to be whole.

I must find myself

As I struggle each day,

I look toward the future

And make my own way.

The future is blurred,

Unfocused and uncertain,

But I will force myself forward,

Until I close my own curtain.

The Locked Door

The Locked Door

Date Unknown

I stand in an empty room

With only but a door,

Is this to be my doom?

I know I need much more.

I can’t stand this any longer,

People don’t know how it feels,

I wish I was so much stronger,

To escape this room of tears.

There is nothing in here,

Nothing at all,

Only my own fear,

My mind about to fall.

I sit down in the corner,

Wondering what to do,

I need to get out sooner,

Please help me find a clue.

I don’t know if I can make it,

Will I make it through?

My mind is falling into a pit,

I don’t know what to do.

This room is horribly dark,

Oh please let me out,

I have only but a broken heart,

I don’t even want to pout.

Just let me out of this fantasy,

I miss hearing the rain pour,

I can’t believe this catastrophe,

Please open the locked door.

The Human Zoo

The Human Zoo

Unknown Date

The Human zoo,

Is locked up tight,

From day to day,

From night to night.

The guests that come

Are covered with fur,

They shake the cages

And disappear with a blur.

Different displays

Tend to show different traits,

Like white or black,

Football or skates.

They also have a museum,

That show the things we had,

Whatever they could scavenge

Or whatever was in fad.

If you have yet to realize,

This isn’t just a tease,

This is really how humans act,

In our zoo, things are a breeze.

The Gypsy and the Pilgrim

The Gypsy and the Pilgrim

4/3/2012

One summer

I spoke

With my Grandmother

And she told me stories

Of her time

As a child

With her sister

And father,

Who was an Italian Gypsy.

All I really recall

Where stories of a house

In the grass,

And playing with her sister,

Who she no longer knows,

Because one day

Her father disappeared,

Leaving her

And her sister

Behind.

But my Grandma also told me

About her adopted family,

And stories of their history.

Of how her adopted Grandmother

Met her adopted Grandfather

But they were both travelers

Going their separate ways.

They were not meant to be

Although they fell in love.

So when their children,

My great-grandmother

And great-grandfather,

Met by happen stance,

They fell in love

And righted the balance.

Then they adopted my Grandmother

Who birthed my father,

Who made me.

Though my Grandmother identifies

As an Italian Gypsy,

She was raised by a family

Who descended from Pilgrims.

Two vastly different peoples

But two similar ways.

Two families of travelers,

Two people who had no home.

But who am I?

A Gypsy or a Pilgrim?

Do I have Gypsy soul or not?

The answer?

Both…

I am Both.

I have a Gypsy soul

As well as

A European frame of mind.

I am a Gypsy and a Pilgrim.

The Future Ahead

The Future Ahead

5/10/10

As I look ahead of me

At the path I must follow,

I quiver in my boots

And at times I just feel hollow.

The future looms ahead

And I have no idea what to do,

The sky looming forever onward,

So high and free and blue.

But free I am not,

I am trapped in this body,

As I clutch at random straws

Trying to avoid folly.

But then a cool breeze

Gently pushes its way forward,

I breathe a sigh of relief

As I start to move onward.

Finally a thought came to mind

Just as forth right as a creature,

There is one thing we must not be afraid of

And that thing is the future.

If you fear the future

Then you can never move on,

You will strive forever forward

As you try to get away from the dawn.

The Best Poems

The Best Poems

4/12/2012

The best poems

Are the ones that remain

In your head.

The poems that

Never get written down

On paper.

The words that

Run through your mind

But are forgotten.

Lost in

The tumble, the rumble,

The rush of life.

Lost in

The vastness and dark recesses

Of your mind.

Lost before

You can even put

A pen to paper.